An Ode to Cigarettes and Whiskey

As told to me by ChatGPT

On the occasion of being gifted a bottle of McAllen’s 12-year-old single malt scotch (I prefer 25, but gift horses and all that), I’ve commissioned my bard to compose an ode to the finer things in life.

Oh cigarettes and whiskey,

how I crave Your smoky tendrils and your amber glow,

Your flavors, bold and rich, my soul doth save,

From worries and the burdens of woe.

The sweet aroma of your burning leaves,

The gentle sting of liquor on my tongue,

A welcome respite from life's daily heaves,

A refuge in which my spirit is young.

Oh how you calm my restless mind at night,

And warm my heart on cold and lonely days,

Your companionship, a constant delight,

A solace in life's unpredictable ways.

Cigarettes and whiskey, my faithful friends,

My partners in joy, and in sorrow's ends.

How do it know?

I wanted to compare this computer-generated prose to real world artists, so I rang up my old friend Bob Dylan and asked him to pen a song with the same topics. Here’s what he gave me:

Verse 1: I woke up this morning with a headache and a cough, Reached for my pack of smokes, I knew it was enough, I took a sip of whiskey, to soothe my troubled soul, But it didn't ease the pain, it only took its toll.

Chorus: Cigarettes and whiskey, they're my only friends, They keep me company, until the bitter end, I know they'll kill me someday, but until then, Cigarettes and whiskey, they're my only friends.

Verse 2: I've been down this road before, I know how it will end, With a bottle in my hand, and a cigarette to mend, My broken heart, my shattered dreams, my wasted life, But I keep on going, through the struggle and the strife.

Chorus: Cigarettes and whiskey, they're my only friends, They keep me company, until the bitter end, I know they'll kill me someday, but until then, Cigarettes and whiskey, they're my only friends.

Verse 3: I've tried to quit a thousand times, but I can't seem to break, The hold they have on me, the addiction that they make, I know it's not the way to live, but it's the only way I know, To ease the pain, to numb the hurt, to make the feelings go.

Chorus: Cigarettes and whiskey, they're my only friends, They keep me company, until the bitter end, I know they'll kill me someday, but until then, Cigarettes and whiskey, they're my only friends.

Outro: So if you see me on the street, with a cigarette in my hand, And a bottle by my side, you'll know where I stand, I'm just a broken man, trying to find my way, With cigarettes and whiskey, to get me through each day.

It’s a tough call…

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