Pride Takes a Powder
Even alphabet rainbows have their limits
Well, would you look at that. It’s June, and for once, my inbox isn’t drowning in rainbow-tinged marketing emails from mattress companies trying to sell me a “QUEEN-size for your inner queen.” The LinkedIn logos remain their staid corporate blue. Starbucks hasn’t launched a unicorn frappuccino called The Ally-Latte. And not a single brand has tweeted “Love is Love 💅” before going radio silent for the next eleven months.
Pride Month 2025 has entered her quiet era—and frankly, it’s kind of a vibe.
For the first time in years, Pride doesn’t feel like a hostage situation between queer people and the marketing departments of multinational conglomerates. There’s no rainbow Doritos. No limited-edition LGBTQ+-themed car wraps. No supermarket sandwich wrapped in “representation.”
Instead: calm. Stillness. A whiff of introspection, even. It's like everyone suddenly realized, “Wait... was that a bit over the top?” (Yes. It was.)
Corporations, once desperate to wrap themselves in Pride like it was a tax deduction, have suddenly remembered they have shareholders. Turns out, there’s only so many rainbow-themed sneakers you can hawk before the backlash starts hitting the bottom line. And with outrage culture in full swing—on both sides of the aisle—many brands are sitting this one out. Not because they’ve learned anything, mind you, but because risk management called and said “maybe don’t.”
I’ve spent my entire life in entertainment, so very little shocks me anymore. However, having watched many Pride parades dating back to the early 1980s, I saw a distinct decline from fun shows of solidarity (think poodles in the park), to grotesque displays of fetishist behavior and simulated sex acts that would make Caligula demurely glance away.
The gay lifestyle is a marketing dream. Here you have a group of people whose raison d’être is to party, decorate and live out loud. Add in civil unions and you have households with dual incomes and no future to save for, an entire demographic segment of narcissistic nihilistic consumers whose sole focus is self-gratification.
So now, with all that noise dialled down, Pride feels... saner. Smaller, sure. Less Instagrammable. But also less cringe. It’s backyard BBQs with exclusive guest lists and a chic pinot grigio, not rooftop parties with crypto bros in crop tops. It’s drag shows at the local bar, not PR executives deciding which shade of fuchsia screams “diversity.” It’s remembering that Pride started as a riot—not a VIP-only sponsored mixer.
Support of Pride events has cost a number of large corporations a lot of money and market share. Stockholders are underwhelmed. In the general population, folks are reawakening to the concept that rights aren’t customized party favors, but rather freedoms and liberties that apply to everyone equally, and among those fundamental rights include not being accosted by offensive behavior and content.
Having diverse festivals centered around cultural and ethnic groups is great. No one denies that St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo are tailor-made for fun, but they aren’t forced on us as entire months of mandatory observation, or festivals of ever-escalating social offense and outrage.
I’ve seen some wonderfully creative Pride parades that are hilariously satirical send-ups of Main Street USA. I’ve also seen Pride parades that are grotesque and mean-spirited rejection of social norms. Perhaps this year’s more subdued events become an opportunity for introspection—a quality not normally associated with this particular demographic group—and a chance to re-evaluate the propriety of shoving one’s lifestyle choices down everyone’s throats.
The “gay” community has always existed. As far back as one cares to look, there have been individuals who march to different drums, and they have disproportionately congregated around the entertainment industry. When their antics were discretely relegated to certain quarters and venues, these folks have become fabulously wealthy and influential. The primary concern has always been to keep certain behaviors out of the eyes of children, regardless of sexual bent or predilection.
The past decade or so has seen the removal of long-standing restraints in the name of “rights,” apparently forgetting that the rights of one group end where they impede on the rights of others. Social mores and norms exist to provide a minimal set of universally acceptable behaviors. In the proprietary environments of personal space and consenting individuals, there is rarely issues of public concern, since no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, to quote that ancient advice.
At the same time, we must condemn witch hunts that seek to expose otherwise discrete behavior in order to publicly shame and punish the folks engaged in it. Some societies, such as the one I currently live in, have decided that men should not engage in certain behaviors together in public, but when the authorities take unusual steps and extraordinary efforts to hunt down and arrest groups who were otherwise discrete and out of the public eye, this is equally shameful and infringing on the peaceful coexistence concept.
Personally, I find it ludicrous that a group of people identify themselves and take pride in with whom and how they have sex. These things hardly seem like achievements worthy of defining self-worth, but I am not here to judge the standards of others. I have been to some fantastic Pride-themed parties, and seen some disgusting displays in the name of shocking people into stunned silence. It is well past time to dial back the outrageous in favor of quiet dignity.
There is no reason why children and those of modest constitutions should be forced to accept and observe certainly “adult” behaviors. Nor is there anything wrong with allowing safe spaces for expressing one’s proclivities on private property with appropriate screens in place. Neither side should be allowed to dominate the lives of others.
I don’t want to see someone caned in public for the “crime” of enjoying certain activities with someone of the same sex, but neither do I want to see someone caned in public because they enjoy it and receive masochistic gratification from it. I would rather no one be caned in the public square at all.
Instead, let’s rebalance the public discourse and square so that everyone can feel a little Pride in one’s community, and reserve the more extreme elements to their proper places.
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For today’s artistic flight on topic, I nominate one of my favorite David Lynch films, Blue Velvet (1986). However, in keeping with today’s theme of being sensitive to sensitivities, I offer The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956), with similar themes but more subdued expression. If you’re feeling adventurous, try them as a double-feature.
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Seems to me that all this insane "pride" bullsh*t reached a climax with that display at the Paris Olympics last year, and I suspect the universal embarrassment that caused is the reason for the current pull back you talk about. Personally, I had a lot of pride in the stone work I did during a 45 year career, and I am pretty proud of the little homestead I've managed to put together since then, but as you point out, certain aspects of ones life should be kept behind those closed doors. Over my life, I have had plenty of gay friends (first wife was a drama mama), have seen some succumb to the HIV/AIDS mess, but can't think of a one who would have been very happy with the last decade or so of screaming in the face of normalcy. Glad that is taking a rest
LOL @ "Rainbow Doritos". That's hilarious.
Patrick and I were thinking of a Humility Month skit. Parades of nuns and monks flagellating themselves, crawling on their knees, with a crown of thorns on their heads, etc.
My wife and I have catered many gay parties in the SF Bay Area, too many. One of the craziest was in West Sonoma County.
The theme was orange and we, the catering staff, had to wear the gay's skin tight t-shirts. The gays had put oranges floating in the pool. We made blender after blender of Margaritas for the guests. Our cook got drunk. It was crazy!