UPDATE 28NOV24: Goldilocks wins Jakarta governor…not too hot, not too cold; musang still on the loose: https://jakartaglobe.id/news/pramono-on-course-to-win-jakarta-governorship
https://t.me/Radio_Far_Side/7204
Our neighborhood is on watch tonight. There’s a musang bulan on the loose. A musang is a type of civet that looks like a cross between a house cat, a squirrel and a mongoose. It’s eating small cats, chili peppers from people’s porches, and tearing up garbage bags. If you’re a caffeine fiend, then you know kopi luwak, which is created by civets. It’s more of a nuisance than anything, but folks are being warned to keep pets in at night, lest they become varmint vittles.
Anyway, I wanted to talk about people’s maddening reliance on “leaders” and the blind faith they place in such creatures. It’s yet another election day in these parts, this time for the 38 provincial governors and the equally useless regents, mayors, and so forth. Mrs. FarSide just came home with her purple finger.
I’ve been eligible to vote since July 1979, though I’ve only succumbed to that weakness once, in 1996, when I voted for Ross Perot. I’m not proud of that momentary lapse of reason, but I excuse it with having voted for a maverick non-affiliated Texas billionaire, who was warning about border issues 30 years ago.
This year, my kids have decided not to vote, as well. Their decisions are partly based on Dad’s impeccable logic, and partly on the fact that all the choices are lousy, as usual.
The leading candidate for governor of Jakarta — Jakarta is a city, a regency and a province all in one — has promised to Make Jakarta Islamic Again (MJIA), despite not being a legal resident of Jakarta. This includes bringing back the Front Pembela Islam (FPI, or Islamic Defenders’ Front), which in addition to conjuring scenes from Life of Brian (1979), was a violent quasi-official morality police before being disbanded by the previous president 10 years ago for being anathema to a nominally secular republic (with six Constitutionally-protected religions).
I’m of the opinion that the only person who represents me is, well…me. I occasionally delegate certain functions to trusted associates because: 1) I haven’t figured out how to bilocate yet; 2) Universe saw fit to endow me with only two hands; and 3) sometimes I would just rather pay someone to do a task I’m not particularly enthusiastic about (see cleaning septic tanks).
Voting is essentially entering into a contract. You agree to roll the dice on the chance your preferred pompous ass wins, in exchange for being compliant if he/she doesn’t. I don’t consent to be governed by anyone, anywhere, at any time, unless I specifically enter into an explicit contract, where I am fully aware of and agree with the terms.
Being born someplace does not constitute a willing and enforceable contract, even if my parents “spoke for me” as a minor child. In the latter case, that contract expired when I attained majority in July 1979.
When it comes to legal and regulatory systems, I figure we are born hardwired with all the laws we need. Everything else is contractual. I don’t like the idea of voting for someone who then assumes carte blanche to perform the most heinous, depraved and egregious acts in my name for the next few years, while their grimy fingers are constantly thumbing through my wallet.
I certainly don’t agree that anyone is better suited to watch out for me and my best interests than me. Handing that kind of authority to a stranger is a recipe for trouble, and trouble is pretty much the default outcome. The social order depends on individual human relations, not on pompous jerks who claim they have mandates to act on behalf of millions of people, based solely on being the lesser of two evils.
I have been through dozens of elections in multiple countries for every conceivable “office” and they are always the same — for about a week afterward, half the population is ecstatic and the other half is despondent, and then the make-up comes off and no one is happy.
Why do humans keep subjecting themselves to this insanity? Are we so terrified of taking personal responsibility for our own affairs that we will tolerate any amount of humiliation and abuse to avoid it? Are we incapable of learning from past mistakes? Or are we so mentally enslaved that we simply cannot even imagine any other way of living? Perhaps all of the above?
Like any corporation, the sole metric of success for government is growth. Once a commercial enterprise is created, it must demonstrate consistent and relentless expansion of its market share, or its viability is called into question. A government must constantly expand via population, influence, or conquest. If it doesn’t, folks tend to get bored and go look for other things to distract them.
Though folks don’t generally die or have their lives crushed from going to see a movie, nevertheless government is a form of entertainment. It is designed to distract, engage and emote, while criminals run away with your goods. It’s literally the oldest trick in the book, and it obviously works. The thief sees you load up the clan to head to the cinema, and when you return your life’s savings have been looted.
I often wonder what it would be like if they held an election and no one came. I’ve seen elections where just a small percentage of folks decide what’s best for everyone, and everyone just slogs along with business as usual. Suppose, though, no one showed up. What would that look like? How would the pompous asses respond? Would the existing regime assume a mass mandate? Would the opposition demand another round? Would everyone suddenly realize en masse that they really didn’t need all the hubbub in the first place?
It’s a fun thought experiment, in any case.
So, it all comes back to having a musang on the loose. These little critters jump through treetops and run along roof tops, looking for unguarded loot to steal. Even though some of them produce the most valuable coffee in the world, for the most part they are a nuisance.
Just like politicians.
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I need some comedy to distract me today, so I choose the greatest comedy of them all: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), for no other reason than the line, “‘ow do you know ‘e’s the king?” “Because ‘e ‘asn’t got shit all over ‘im.”
Battling musang on the Far Side:
E-book: Paper Golem: Corporate Personhood & the Legal Fiction
Contact Bernard Grover at luap.jkt @ gmail . com
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The legal codes -- civil, criminal, administrative, admiralty -- have grown so complex and convoluted that we literally can't get out of bed without breaking at least a half-dozen of the 20,000 laws that apply to the individual. Most of the laws, in fact nearly all of them, are nothing more than State revenue streams.
I'm of the opinion that all those laws only apply to entities created by the State, i.e. corporations. Thus the State had to make corporations out of the citizenry. Driving without a license is not a crime, it only means that I haven't paid fealty to the king for the privilege that used to be a birthright.
*For some reason, everything Vonu comments on has screwed up coding and won't let me reply directly. Stop it, Vonu!
I must admt, though you have been among my dozens of newsfeeds a day for many months, this is the first one I've read., at least all the way through.
Your points are made in such down-to-earth style, with great wit and to the point, without the encumberment of a diatribe of a thousand words. That is a great relief and diversion from the god-awful newsfeed things that keep fifteen tabs opened for me every morning-til-morning (!).
I agree absolutely with your political analysis-it is *universal*...(and my ex and I, being who we were at the time, did vote for Ross Perot...anything but the other two treacherous thugs!).
I was writing up a simple Thanksgiving paragraph or two, but rescinded, as I really don't write nearly as much as I intake and analyze-which is flatly too damn much. Plus, the Grandkids are here for Thanksgiving break from communist propaganda, whatever you call it. .."school".
It just kinda descended into a rant of sorts, so it's stuck in drafts. I missed my calling as an Intel Analyst (joke!)...
I really like your writing *style*, a good example to get my temperament in order before I rattle-off too much and upset the universe! Going back to look at some of your previous articles. Much appreciated, thank you. (BTW, Life Of Brian was the best of the two! lol)